The Case of ‘As Long As’
v. ‘So Long As’

Okay, so my “fake news” post bombed. Let’s move on to real grammatical issues.

Almost everyone I hear or read uses the phrase “as long as” in the conditional sense, as in, “as long as you don’t care, neither do I.” Wrong!

The phase “as long as” is a comparison of lengths. “That building is as long as three football fields” is one example of correct usage.

“So long as” is a conditional phrase, as in “so long as you don’t care, neither do I.”

Dana Loesch, the NRA and Fake News: Your Opinion Please

This is simply a post to generate comments. Remember, I monitor everything, so no hate, stupidity, useless rants, four-letter words, ad nauseum, will be approved. Be rational, at ease and make sense, whatever your belief is. Thank you.

Do you believe the Left and their puppets in the Media are carrying out 1984-cum-Animal Farm?

Watch the video with NRA spokesperson Dana Loesch.

You Can Have Your Covfefe and Eat It Too

Or can you?

A mysterious tweet by Donald Trump — “Despite the negative press covfefe” — went viral for about five-and-a-half hours earlier today, leading to all kinds of humor and speculation on the social media.

I sometimes end up making mysterious words and sentences when I put my cell phone in my pocket while it’s still on. Bodily movements and hand-in-pocket gyrations make for weird words and sentences, but this tweet seemed to start out straight and end with a new word.

Covfefe.

Coming soon to a market near you, a new candy bar called Covfefe.

How Weird, or Wyrd, Your Fate

As I watched one of my favorite TV shows the other night — “Imposters” — one of the characters mentioned that the word weird originally meant destiny.

I thought that was a bit weird and worth researching, and guess what? That was the exact meaning of the Old English word wyrd — fate or destiny.

It seems that Shakespeare started, or accelerated, the modern interpretation (with the help of the Scotch earlier), when he described the witches in Macbeth as weird.

Original usage of wyrd, however, was as a note, as wordorigins.com notes:

Weird is found in Beowulf (spelled wyrd) as a noun meaning fate or destiny:

Gæð a wyrd swa hio scel.
(Fate goes ever as fate must.)

and

Hie wyrd forsweop on Grendles gryre.
(Fate sweeps them away into Grendel’s clutches.)

‘Penultimate’ versus ‘Ultimate’

Here’s where people can show some real stupidity, but let me give some background first.

I was just watching the World Baseball Classic on TV when an announcer, discussing the anniversary of outfielder Roberto Clemente’s elevation to the Hall of Fame in 1973, referred to him as “the penultimate Puerto Rican baseball player.”

I’m sure he thought penultimate meant beyond ultimate.

Egads, folks, penultimate means “next to last,” while ultimate means “beyond, tops.”

In origin, penultimate comes from the Latin paene, meaning “almost,’ plus ultimas “last.” So penultimate means literally “almost last.”

Unfortunately, in modern vernacular to many non-discriminating speakers and writers, penultimate has taken on the meaning of “beyond ultimate.”

Since When Did ‘Gift’ Become a Verb?

Heard on a food show on radio while the host was discussing wines to buy (basically an advertisement): “,wines to drink, wines to save, wines to gift.”

I’m not even going to look this one up in the dictionary for fear it may be true: Gift was always a noun, signifying something presented to another person or done for another person’s sake free of charge; give was the verb to indicate such an action. Now I hear people using gift as the verb!

I fear that the English gods over at Oxford University may have already bought into this use of gift, and I don’t wanna know.

What next?

 

Ever Heard of a ‘Mitigated Disaster’?

I now nominate “unmitigated disaster” to join the ranks of “awesome” as one of the most overused, misused and meaningless expressions in the English language.

To join countless scores of others through the ages (sick, rad, bitchin’, etc., fill in the blank — I can’t keep up).

I bring this up because, as I was tooling around in my car this morning on the way to work, a sports jock on radio predicted the upcoming Rio de Janeiro Olympics would be an “unmitigated disaster.”

So, let’s mitigate it.

You see what I mean? It’s meaningless verbiage. Makes you sound knowledgeable while masking your meaninglessness, or rather, mindlessness.

Like “awesome.” Does that word really mean anything except, “I can’t think of a sincere thing to say, so here’s the most current cop-out”?

Grammar Test for the ‘Above Average’

Okay, the site where I found this said it was a grammar test for the “above average” in intelligence. It should only take a couple of minutes to take, and from my perspective, there are only two or three questions that are a bit challenging, so good luck.

Also, the landing page is kind of confusing. You need to scroll to the bottom to find the actual quiz (they try to trick you into clicking on other links to sell you things).Screen Shot 2016-07-25 at 7.57.47 AM

April 23: Shakespeare Day, But What About Cervantes?

The Bard expired 400 years ago today on April 23, 1616, but what about Miguel de Cervantes, the first modern novelist? Spain evidently used a different calendar than England, but factoring in differences in the approaches of the two calendars (Gregorian v. Julian), William Shakespeare and Cervantes could well have died on the same day.

There is even some speculation that Shakespeare adopted at least one character from Cervantes’s novel Don Quixote in a lost co-authored play, “The History of Cardenio.”

Let’s make a movie, “The Secret Rendezvous of Shakespeare and Cervantes,” taking mysterious place during Shakespeare’s lost years of 1585 to 1592.

Has to be better than “Shakespeare in Love.” But so are most cartoons.